New year resolutions??
Like anyone else, I was questioned by my friends about new year resolutions. Hmmm... not that I don't have one but it is always like previous years... to take part in races as many as possible, to improve my PB and to get to know as many girls as I can.... bla bla bla... But then, someone asked me why not putting "getting married" as one of the resolutions. Yeah, very tricky question but I have the answer why I don't want that to happen yet
Even my ex-MIL also asked similar question over and over again because her daughter already married and live happily ever after, while I'm still struggling with my life.... NOT! No, I'm not under pressure.... my life is great! Better than before :)
Normally, my standard answer is "belum ada jodoh" or I haven't met someone I love. I still believe I need to be in love to get married and not to repeat mistake like the first one.
Well, my main reason isn't that. When we got divorced, I told my ex whatever happens, it happens for a reason. I can't force her to stay in marriage if she doesn't love me. I think I did a noble thing by letting her go. But moving forward, let's focus on the kids. Unfortunately, human always forgetful and we always think about ourselves first. Yes, both of us screwed up our lives but we must not screw up our kids’ lives.
Children are emotionally very fragile and sensitive. They do not want to see their parents with someone else. I remember there was one time I took my kids out with one of my girlfriends and when I hold her hand, Dmi pulled my hand back immediately. This is exactly what happens when parents start shifting focus to someone else. After that incidence I never talked about girlfriends or finding a new mummy to them anymore. Just imagine how they feel if I get married, having a baby with new wife and of course a new family??? I'm very sure they will be devastated and that's why I'm eager to get them back to KL. No doubt their granny did a great job in ensuring academic excellence. I'm very grateful to be blessed with parents-in-law like that. However, for me emotional development is more important to them right now. Being away from both parents is like giving a wrong signal that we do not want them to be in our lives. They are too young to understand this whole thing and they are just so not ready for it yet even after 2 years separated. All these will only make them angry and resentful.
I'm counting the days when they will be moving back to KL. I have so many things father and son activities that I want to do together with them. I pray to Allah, soon they will be living with me and three of us will be a one happy family again. Insyaallah.