A journey of my life

The boys went back to JB with their mummy today. Gosh... I'm gonna miss them. And last night, i went to send the medical cards and see them before they going off to JB. My ex was at home having dinner with them. When they saw me in my office attire and laptop bag, they were saying "Yay daddy dah balik nak terus duduk sini ya?!". I was speechless listened to that remark. Kids... they still hoping for us be together again. Sorry kids, at the moment both of us have no plan to reconcile. But daddy & mummy will always love you.

This is rock concert event on rooftop of BB Plaza. It's been a long time since my last rock concert... errr I can't think when was the last one, hmmm... probably i never been to one before :P In average the crowd were in their early 20's and some of them were half of my age. Yeah, i feel a bit out place :P But thanks to a friend who gave me an advice how to wear in such event. As a result.... no one call me uncle...hehehe The concert were awesome. I feel so good looking people performing on stage. Well, next in my wish list, I'm going to learn play drums after my Ironman. No more procrastination. You gotta do it man!!!!

Who says video game is not a physical activity. Tgk la gelagat Dmi main PS2....funny, hahaha

I've never been in situation where I cannot see my children growing up in front of my eyes and it's very difficult to explain how I felt when I had to let them go to stay with their grandparents. It wasn't that I did not want to take care of them. I was begging my ex to let me keep them, at least they can be with me & nearer to their mother but she insisted to send them away to her parents in JB. I pity my in-laws because at their age they should be enjoying their life, not add up more burdens by taking care of their grandchildren. Knowing my in-laws, I know they are more than willing to do it for us. May god bless them. Thank you Mama & Papa! After almost 3 months of waiting in vein to see them, finally I had a chance to take them to stay with me during this school holiday. I know my ex only let me do this because I haven't work since early November so that I can be with my kids most of the time. During this moment they showed me their filial love of having me ...

This is one of the main running events in the country and many people do not want to miss an opportunity to run across the national landmark of 13.5km long Penang bridge. There were 6 of us Azmar, Steve, Julie, Karo & Aghil (an Iranian student) cramped into my Citra for about 6 hours journey to Penang. It was fun journey as everyone always has jokes to share. We stayed at B-Suite which is very near to starting line at Queensbay Mall. The race started at 3am and the route slightly different from last year. We ran towards Batu Maung through Bayan Lepas first before return back to cross the bridge. During the race I met more of our friends like Doc Hisyam, CK, Kar Yan, May Senn, Tey and new friends like Azhar from S'pore & Soo a MAS pilot. The rest who did 1/2 marathon were also there like Mac, Adeline, Alaudin, Mat Licin, Wendy, Bo & many more. As usual I ran with a camera in hand just to capture the moments. After all I got the most lucky race number :) Check out some of...

I wanted to write this earlier but I had problem with my camera. So, I waited until I could copy all the pictures from the memory card. This trip was before puasa during the National Day weekend. Diving wasn't one of my wish list actually. I don't know why, I just signed up for the course with Eco-Diver and there i was in Tioman. It was an exciting journey, met many new friends and chicks. When you share similar passion, automatically you will speak the same frequency with other divers. Tioman was a beautiful island and people are very friendly. There were many tourists especially Caucassion. The food were awesome and it wasn't that expensive as people thought. For RM30, the chalet was quite decent with no aircon. Who needs aircon when you spend most of the time outside on the beach. I stayed at ABC aka Kampung Air Batang where tourist populations are more than the locals. Well, PADI open water is a very easy course. The instructor told me never in his life people failed th...

I registered, i traveled all the way to Manjung in my car carrying 3 other duathletes, paid for the fee, picked up the race kit, took the timing chip, checked in to the hotel, carboloaded during dinner and slept early..... everything was perfect until 4 hours before the race. I was really disappointed but it took me lots of courage not to race. Well, there's always next time.

I apologize for writing those stoopid entries. Thanks to all my friends who gave me great support during my difficult times and giving me that "sucker punch".... now i'm awake and ready to continue my journey.

My plan to start the training was hampered by the road closing at Putrajaya Mosque. I made an appoinment with Mat Licin to RV at the mosque and to make it worse, I left my mobile in the office previous night. I was there don't know what to do and wasn't sure where actually Mat Licin is waiting for me. So, I proceed to the pool hope Mat Licin will do the same.... well, great minds think alike. Alas, he wasn't there at all after 15 minutes. He might be going to Taman Warisan waiting for me. I don't know whose mind actually is not that great, me or him?...haha I started cycle from Kompleks Sukan Air Putrajaya heading towards Alamanda using the highway with killer uphill stretch, i was hoping I won't get my tyres puncture as I don't have enough tools to change the tube. Or else it will turn to 15km run in cycling shoes :P  Completed 30km  in an hour.... easy peasy. Haven't swim since Desaru tri. Today I was thinking I should do at least 1000m. The pool opened at...

I am sure many of us have heard in many discussion or read headlines about the financial meltdown that hit the US, Europe and now charging at full speed to Asia. Everything seems going down everywhere in US, UK, Tokyo from stocks to commodities. This big tsunami of economy crisis is reaching our shore in no time either. Our government is trying to ensure it won't be that hard when it's here or the UMNO party election is hotter news nowadays? The Dow Jones is plunging like mad with the mentality of "sell before I lose everything" contributed to the stock market crash and there is intense fear that the market will never recover. Before you start panicking, remember this.... history always repeat itself. The Crash in 70's, The Black Moonday in 80's and Dot Com Bubble in early 2000 when the market crashed around 30%-40% but later rallied between 100%-500% in 5-12 years. The history show the harder they fall, the stronger the bull run will follow. What smart invest...

About 30 people turned up for the final Genting run before Raya & for 2008. Ngae managed to contact his old friend who is working in Genting Public Relation and arranged a reception in front of the First World Hotel. There were also security escort by Polis Bantuan Genting along the way. It was fun and hope could do it again next year. Elevation from start to finish

I just wanna say that whatever i wrote in this blog, sometimes about my personal life, i didn't mean that i'm looking for sympathy atau "menagih simpati". It's merely a way to let things out from inside me. I don't like to talk about my problem with people face to face, so this is the place to let it out. I promise no more sad entries as i'm feeling so much better now. I'm moving on. Yay!! Since Hari Raya just around the corner, i'm looking forward to spend raya holidays with my kids. Then seriously start training for my Langkawi IM09. I've only 4 months of training and 1 month for tapering. Then the hardest part is watching out my diet. If not i can be ballooned up easily. Just look at my pix during PD tri a few months ago. I was 78 kgs compare to now 71kgs. Anyway, dun wanna miss last chance to wallop all i can during raya....hehehe

The same activity but with different crowd. I improved so much compare to last weekend. A bit crampped up near the summit. Other than that, everything was fantastic. I did in sub 3 hrs, unbelievable. Addicted to it already, next week i'm gonna do it again.

A prayer inscribed on a stone at the field in my alma mater. "Oh God, please help me to win for I always want to win. But if in thy inscrutable wisdom Thou willest me not to win, then make me a good loser. For when the one great scorer comes to write against your name, he writes not that you won or lost, but how you played the game." This is relevant to our lives as well. Our journey might not be smooth sailing, so don't only look at the goals but how we steer our ship in the course of reaching the destinations.

Our annual ritual during Ramadan is to run/cycle up to Genting Highland. Normally, we did twice every weekend but this year we started at 2 nd week of puasa and only once a week. That nite, there were almost 40 of us together with the love ones as support driver took part in this run. The most interesting part was my batchmate in RMC Ala, Bandit, Boot, Budin, Upiq, Zamri, Bean were there too. It was like a reunion. It was tough for me coz i haven’t run since 1 st day puasa. We started from Genting Sempah in front of McD. First stage towards Gohtong Jaya I ran together with sweet Kar Yan. Not only she got the look but she's full of the stamina too. My heart rate was 103% trying to catch up with her…. Or maybe because of other thing, only 2 of us in the dark, dirty, sweating, huffing & puffing slowly reaching the peak…sound steamy huh?:P Near Gohtong Jaya she left me behind because I stopped to fill my bottle...... errr actually because i was too slow for her level. From Go...

Everyone who gets married will say their marriage is a fairy tale. Same goes to my marriage. On the day we were legally husband & wife, she said we're going to live happily ever after.... WAIT! STOP! Reality check... not all marriages last till death do us part... including mine. On the day she wanted divorce, she was saying "this is a fairy tale wedding without happy ending". Probably true to her but not to me. I have my happy ending in this fairy tale wedding.... below are my happy endings :) I miss them so much!

Long Distance Race 2km Swim 90km Cycle 21km Run Sprint on 2nd day

About 3 weeks they were staying with me. During that time our bonding grew stronger. I like the feel being greet by them when coming home from work . They ran straight toward me when I open-up the door and start talking of what was happening today. And every night before we sleep, I did bedtime story telling. I really sad being alone again :( I wanted to take care of them but my ex insisted them to be sent to her parents in JB. I worry they will slowly forget about me sooner or later. She said this is for their own good. Hope she did the right thing.

For the past 2 weeks, I feel so happy. Why??? Because my kids are with me now. When I at work I always look forward to go home to see them. Earlier my ex & I decided to send them to JB to stay with my in-laws. But now I have second thought of doing that. Since I already lost my wife, I don't want to lose my kids too. If my ex doesn't mind the kids stay away from her, that's her problem. In fact the kids are happier with me. Although my parents take care of them when I at work, most of the time they are with me. I shower them, I have breakfast/lunch/dinner with them, I teach them homework, they sleep with me at nite, I take them out for fun, etc. Maybe if I get a daycare maid, my mom can relax a bit. The kids need a father, I can see that every time we talk. Syukran, Ian & Dmi

Good race & great trip :)

The longest ride in one day. Finished in 6hrs 48mins but I was suffered...... I cannot imagine, in Ironman after cycle 18okm, have to run 42km... ohh before that swim 3.8km... giler la.

A friend tells me to change my blog from black, dark & gloomy to other colors which is more vibrant & cheerful. So, officially to show that i'm bouncing back on my feet..... i chose green color as my new template. It looks very fresh. To start fresh, forget all the past and hope for the best.

I never saw so many people started to run at the same time. Altho there were 10 diff categories, the organizer let go everybody at the same time. The road was jammed pack and i had to maneuver between the people. Ran together with Ala & his brother Chip. He brought along his parent and his sister in-law to run the race. Very active & healthy family. My timing....hmmm shame la to tell. For 7km run, we did 50 mins..... loser!

Talk is cheap. It's easy to have big dreams and set high goals. The true test of commitment is not talking but doing it. Racing to complete my first Ironman can't be an on-again, off-again endeavor. It's full time commitment - a passion . Achieving the pinnacle of excellence requires living, breathing, eating, sleeping triathlon everyday... literally.

What's the difference between duathlon & biathlon??? Duathlon is run-bike-run, while biathlon is swim-run. JSKL Biathlon was my first ever biathlon. It was organized by Iwata-san the well-known Japanese athlete among our fraternity. Actually the race was like an international event. There were several other nationalities took part in the race. As usual Steve, Karo & Azman was there, also Abu came cheering his daughter and Mejar Kalam with the whole family was in the race too. It was fun race for me. Wish I could bring Ian & Dmi to join the race.

The largest take-off thousands of runners at the Sungai Besi Royal Malaysian Air Force Base runaways at 6.30am. The last RMAF Half Marathon was 10 years ago and this one was held in conjunction of RMAF 50th Celebration on 1 June. The runners was flagged off by RMAF Chief of Staff in very fashionable way by using para-flares & thunder-flash. Last time I saw these during battle trainings in RMC. The sky was lighted with dozens of them. I started a bit late coz busy doing my business in the toilet...hehehe When I started run, the starting line was cleared. I was 5 minutes behind but managed to catch up. Running on the runway was an exciting experience with all the flares gliding down above our heads. The course more or less same like KLIM. The weather was great and my pace also great. Since I've been left behind, I've no intention to increase speed. Met Haza at Jalan Istana. Also met up with Joejo near Jalan Sultan Ismail and I decided to accompany him all the way. He did pret...

"It wasn't easy but worth the torture". What else can I say about this event. The Malakoff Charity Ride 2008 was held from 17-19 May. The intensive cycling of 150-160km daily for 3 days from Gombak to Kuala Terengganu is to raise more than RM60k for charity homes located en route. It has been rewarding experience to help the less fortunate. From SWS staff I managed to collect RM377 and plus from Bandit's company & others like Chief Kutus in total we collected nearly RM800 given to Rumah Anak Yatim & Kebajikan Darul Izzah Temerloh. I personally handed the money to Ustaz Zul. Malakoff has done great jobs organizing the tour with 70 cyclists on the first day to more than 100 on the final day (joined by cyclist club in Kemaman) with full support of police car, police riders/marshal controlling the traffics, support 4WDs & a lorry with tons of mineral, sport drinks & bananas (yes... we were monkeys) & one ambulance followed us from behind in case accid...

1st of 2008 triathlon series. Did better than last year. Completed the race in 3:33. Gotta practice more on swimming and do more brick training combining a two or more legs. The most important thing.... I had so much fun!!!

A not so good 21km run this morning. Carpooled with Ala & his parents together with Azmar on board. Met several familiar faces like Abu & Saiful. Today, first time I greet Haza aka "Running Mom". We've been seeing her in several races before but never had a chance to say hello. OP Joejo was there too. In fact his company DCM Tooling sponsored the medals. Nice job bro!! Mcm lambang Superman lah. All of us did 21k except Ala's parent & Joejo did 10k run. Timing not so impressive. I clocked 2:28 after I was forced to walk due to cramped up. I should have taken ORS & some breakfast before start the race. After completed KL Marathon, I shouldn't take half marathon so lightly. Anything above 10k should be well prepared. Now I learned my lesson :P

I'm not feeling well after the race. I got 3 days MC after watery spots covered my whole body. I am allergic to something in the sea. Probably the sea bugs or sea lice :P Just a short write-up, not in mood to write. It was tough race. Like I said before, to cross the start line is already an achievement for me to overcome my fear of doing open sea swim. But to complete the race is beyond my imagination. Like marathon, if you are tired or cramped up you can just sit by the road side waiting for sweeper bus. But in open sea long distance swim, probably they will find you sitting at the bottom of the sea. One thing I learned from this race..... if you have determination and perseverance added with being a lunatic once a while.... probability to achieve your target is higher. (Oppss... i start talking like an analyst :P) Thanks to Steve for arranging the trip and inspired me to do the race. Azmar & Ngae for your moral support. Cikgu Adnan (my ex-teacher in RMC) & Mat Licin fo...

Kapas-Marang Swimathon 13th April 2008. Start from Pulau Kapas to Pantai Kelulut Marang. Distance 6.5km.....(if u swim straight line) "Only the brave will do, only the best will finish". Let see if I'm brave enuff to cross the start line. Oh God, pls help me survive this race. Look at the distance! Obviously, it's not for weak hearted.

This is my first KLIM. Missed last year coz I had to go to Islamabad. Coincidently, today is my birthday and the organizer announced at the event that i'm the birthday boy. I have no mood to write in details about the run. More pix in my facebook. Distance Time Lapse Pace 5km 0:34:35 0:34:35 0:06:55 10km 1:12:21 0:37:46 0:07:33 15km 1:50:53 0:38:31 0:07:42 20km 2:23:38 0:32:45 0:06:33 25km 3:05:27 0:41:48 0:08:22 30km 3:45:47 0:40:20 0:08:04 35km 4:29:56 0:44:09 0:08:50 40km 5:19:45 0:49:49 0:09:58 42km 5:33:08 0:10:22 0:05:11

My babies! Miss them so much!!

I bought my first roadbike (Specialized Aqua Sapone with Mavic Akrium wheels!!) in February and only rode it today. Thanks to a friend who lent me the cash (i didn't have enough $$$ to secure the bike in the first place). I've been drooling over a roadbike for so long. Finally I bought a secondhand one, with very good deal come together with clip pedals & Sidi shoes. The price so much cheaper than my Kona Cinder Cone. Thanks to the seller for giving me more discount after bargaining.... appreciate that bro. And thanks to Bandit too for helping me to check out the bike before I bought her. Hmm... I think should give her a name lah. Today was more like a getting to know each other session. The ride from Batu 18 Hulu Langat to Teratak Tekala. There were many roadies on the road due public holiday today. We had breakfast of nasik lemak bungkus at a warung near picnic area. The bike was excellent! Manzoku shiteru yo! The bonding period was great just need to tweak a bit here ...

To understand why divorce hurts so much it’s important to consider how you arrived at your current situation. I don't mean by that the fights that ultimately forced you or your partner to make the decision that continuing was too hard. Rather I mean consider the thoughts that went into you finally deciding to marry. Remember when you first met your ex? Remember this was the person that you thought complimented you, this was someone that completed you. That special person that supposedly knew you, trusted and accepted you. Someone that was kind, caring, funny, honest. Someone that would be there to watch you grow old. Someone that would one day give birth to your children and then work together with you to raise them into adults that you could be proud to tell others, "See that boy, he's my son the doctor", or how about, "You know Ian, my boy, he just released a new book on psychology. I am so proud of him!". When you got engaged and told peo...

27.08.1999 - 05.03.2008

It has been my dream to participate in Ironman at least once in a lifetime. To be called Ironman, participants must complete a course of 3.8km swim, 180.2 bike & 42.2km run with total 228.2km under 17 hours. Yeah.... sounds impossible but there were hundreds of them succeed in their mission last Saturday and being humbled by the grueling challenges they were facing. Anyway, thanks to Chief Kutus for the enjoyable ride in your Hilux. Jaja & OP Adis for your company throughout the trip to Langkawi. Bandit & Budin for being my roommate in cheap motel and Ala for guiding us around the island. Ohh...Ernie too for trying to hook me up with... hehehe. I had so much fun this weekend!!! :D To all my Ironman friends, Bean, Stupe, Shazly, Bacin, Ishal, Azmar, Puzi, Steve, Karoline, Ariff, May Sen, Chan, Zabil, Dicky, Mat Licin, Mejar Kalam and last not least my good friend Faris Al-Sultan (ceh, mcm dia kenal aku..kehkeh)... CONGRATS!! Please cheer for me next year. Friends in action...

This is my first cross country race since I was in RMC in 1991. Only me & Ala took part in this one. The course was about 8km and wasn't sound that challenging. But my heart beat didn't agree with that. I felt so tired probably due to Lexapro. Doctor told me not to stop so I have to continue consume them for another 6 months... gosh, hope I still can continue do all the races. Hmmm... thinking to run the Ironman's marathon leg next weekend :)

First time took part in KL Tower towerthon. Unofficial record 25 mins from starting line near the Weld to the summit of KL Tower. Not that hard but my heart beat max all the way. Will take part again next year :)

My heart, my soul & my life.... Ian & Dmi! Took them to arcade, they were enjoyed playing video games.

I don't think I can stop blogging. I'm going to continue no matter what. Today, first time did GE 30km run. At 6am started from Lake Gardens, we ran one round of Bukit Tunku before heading toward Sri Hartamas and back. I ran all the way with Ala. He said he wants to accompany me, but I know he didn't have enough mileage to run fast....hehehe. Altho, I completed the the 30k but the quality of the run was very bad. I felt so tired.... physically & mentally. Probably, my situation don't really improved as I thought.